OLI TURNS HOLY | A POEM

To make sure that Nepalis saw
That India was a foreign land,
He had made up his mind to draw
With his own hand lines in the sand.

This empty roti-beti stuff
For Madhesis had sanctity,
Paharis saw in it enough
Threat to their own identity.

The open border must be closed
As it dilutes our sovereignty,
We must rid of something imposed
As an imperial legacy.

This open sesame was cause
Why Indian virus was more deadly
Than one from China, as that was
Made to be more Nepal-friendly.

The check-posts on the border
That I have put are a first move
To show dhotis in short order
I’ll this anomaly remove.

As India’s map before him lay,
In his view a perfect moment came
With Chinese and Indians in fray
To make a territorial claim.

He said ’twas a grievous folly
For 120 years Nepal ignored
That through Treaty of Sagauli
Our lost lands we could get restored.

Till Limpiyadhura in the east,
Source of Kalapani river,
This claim will be our very least
A first arrow in our quiver.

The Constitution let’s amend,
Change official map of Nepal,
With this we will forcefully send
Message India can do damn all.

Gorkhaland will be next in line,
Parts of Uttarakhand and Sikkim,
Oli said these lands are mine
His advisers agreed with him.

If in Ladakh India retreats
That will be for Nepal a plus,
We must get people in the streets
To seek more map changes from us.

A bright spark then said Shahs were
Linked to Chittor, and from this fact
One could with good reason prefer
Claim to some Rajasthani tract.

Contingency plans should be made
When India breaks up as we hope,
In which China and Pak will aid
With split up India all can cope.

Meanwhile, let’s create another wedge,
I’ll say real Ayodhya is in
Thori in Nepal, and allege
Around Babri Masjid the din.

The BJP made was concocted.
Nepal was culturally encroached,
Its history was distorted,
For which India must be reproached.

Sita could not have Ram married
Unless he had lived quite close by,
To think he could have been ferried
From India is a far-off cry.

The state then of transportation
Would confirm Bhanubhakta’s view,
With such poor communication
Live close to Birgunj Ram had to.

If Alexander could India reach
Mauryas could far extend their sway
Buddha could such handicap breach
And from Lumbini come long way.

If Ram couldn’t travel short distance
To marry Sita, how could he
To save Vaidehi, for instance,
From Ravan’s Lanka cross the sea?

The question Oli raised was meant
To show that the Ayodhya dispute
In history being a non-event
Was coarse Hindutava pursuit.

Oli in his spiritual assault
Claimed Dashrath was Nepali king,
It’s only happened by default
That Ram became Indian princeling.

For him Krishna’s Nepali too,
Narayanhiti being evidence,
At Budanikantha lies Vishnu,
At Pashupatinath Shiva’s presence.

Shows he too is from Kathmandu.
Oli will launch the next salvo
To claim Dharmic sovereignty too
And crush India’s Hindu ego.

Hindutava’s claims of inventions
And ancient knowledge originate
In Nepal, with their pretensions
Indians always manipulate.

His advisers in full applause
Thought Oli made enormous sense,
It should be Nepal’s sacred cause
To every way India incense.

But one in his entourage thought
He could detect no substance in
What Oli claimed, there could be lot
Though in his blood for such a spin.

Another thought that in this madness
A method was not visible,
It would be quite normal to guess
There was a hand invisible.

He had consulted Hou Yanqi,
The Chinese envoy to Nepal
Who gave advice from Comrade Xi
That Oli should go for it all.

Raise every stake, do not be shy,
From Tibet we’ll keep you supplied,
You can trade through port at Shanghai
If New Delhi sanctions applied.

Gone are the days Oli thought when
Nepal was yam between two stones,
His political acumen
Will bring jam along with two scones.

India will be compelled to woo
Nepal because it has no choice,
And China will have reason to
Stoke Oli’s anti-Indian voice.